Trouble with Shelf Elves

WHY must I put up with these tiny monsters ever year!?

Christmas is almost upon us and it is THE BIG holiday for me any my family. Dec I hits and the frenzy of visiting family, present buying, cooking and hosting begins. It's a lot. But it's fine. It's fun, it's festive. A couple deep breaths. It's FINE.

But what's not fine is what else arrives December 1.

We meet again…..

As millennial Canadians, shelf elves were not a traditional part of our Christmas. The elves were watching, sure, we knew this. But the elves, by and large, never made themselves known.

Then I went away to England for my MA and encountered shelf elves for the first time. Sweet-looking cherubs sat on departments store shelves and waited to find good homes. Lovely! Thought I. How nice that British children are visited by little wee elves that live on their shelves!

How naive I was.

I don't know when exactly Santa changed the policy on elves staying out of sight, but at some point before my first child was born, shelf elves began to make themselves comfortable right out in the open on the shelves in the average suburban Christmas-celebrating Canadian household.

Including my own.

And I do not look forward to their visit each year. In fact, I dread it.

Whichever families in Southern Ontario were the first to welcome shelf elves into their homes really put the rest of us in a spot. Now we all had to welcome shelf elves in, and we all had to make them comfortable and ensure they were entertained multiple times a day every day.

Even TEACHERS are ravaged by shelf elves! Letting them run amok in their classrooms.

"Letting". I'm not sure any of us who find ourselves set upon by shelf elves have much say in the matter once they find their way in. Once they're in - woe betide the parent teacher or guardian who doesn't ensure their continued enjoyment of their stay.

Especially when they look like this.

That's right. My shelf elves do not look like the sweet cheruby dolls of Elf on the Shelf fame (I realize my first image was a bit misleading in this regard, and I’m sorry). Mine are made of something....older. something ancient and cranky and mischievous. Something not even Krampus himself would face in his nightmares.

SO. As I go about the already high stakes chaos of my festive season needs, I now have the added stress of never knowing when or where a shelf elf will turn up in my house. And indeed, the Shelf elves - I have two who visit annually - insist on making themselves at home in the most inconvenient of places.

My computer.

My chair.

My car.

My bed.

(too burnt out and out fo time to draw all those, but you get the idea)

And as everyone with shelf elves knows, one does not TOUCH a shelf elf to remove them to a more convenient location lest they take offense and never return, much to the devastation of the children.

And so I persist. Diligently dodging their daily tableaus, avoiding their judgemental and mocking glares, my eye ever on the calendar, counting down the days to when I get to say farewell to Candy Cane and Cookie, the terror twins of the north.

*shudder*

Doodle

Happy Holidays!

What I’m working on

NOTHING!

Shutting it down. We’re hitting critical mass where the holiday STUFF completely over takes every moment of every day until the new year and so, I surrender to the madness. I hope you have a wonderful time over the next couple weeks, whether you’re celebrating the holidays, spending time with family and friends, or just enjoying some quiet time for you - I hope you get good food, lots of rest and tuck into some great books, great movies, great shows. I’ve still got to watch Christmas in the Spotlight!

See you in 2025!