Welp, I don't know what happened. I never had house plants. I do not have a green thumb.
My mother, she can look at a random strangers' garden and name every plant and flower there. She could tell you how to care for each one. She could even tell you how to save them when they are dying, how to "split them" and make new ones (more on that later) and she could probably give you some fun facts about their history, symbolism and uses as medicine, in food, dyes. Like a proper witch from days of yore.
I never paid attention.
And then I became a mom. My thirties became my late thirties (good lord, is that middle age?) and everyone in my orbit decided the best gift for a housebound mother who doesn't wear makeup and who's only footwear is off-brand sneakers with holes is, without question, a house plant. After two birthdays, I have become the unwitting caretaker of not one but SEVEN house plants. I didn't ask for this responsibility. But some are born great, some achieve greatness and others....bla bla bla.
Through no fault of my own these plants came into my home and I watered them as needed because I'm not a monster. Usually just before I sat down to write. They mostly live in my office so I would see them and take a second to give them a drink. But apart from the required watering I didn't feel much one way or another about the plants. They looked nice enough, but take it or leave it. Their continued survival was a constant surprise.
And then my cousin (hey, cousin!) got me this pink stripey guy who I liked very much. But this pink stripey guy was not as robust as his siblings and after one single month in my care it collapsed catastrophically. And I mean catastrophic.
I sat down at my desk to work on a particular plot hole snare that I was excited to untangle only to see my pink stripey guy, who was up and attentive just that morning, hadn't merely wilted - each stem had toppled completely over. As if felled by tiny lumberjacks.
GAH!
What happened next surprised me. I went into full panic mode. It was code red, 911, life saving measures activated. The plot holes would have to wait. I was on the internet for hours, watching videos, reading blogs, trying to get to the bottom of what had happened to my pink stripey guy (learning his true name, tradescantia nanouk, would take the first hour).
The best I could tell, I had not only accidentally overwatered him, but allowed him to stew in the excess juices, which, unbeknownst to me, had pooled at the bottom of the pot. We were looking at root rot. Disaster.
The only cure?
Surgery.
That's right. We were headed into the OR. (Plot holes still unaddressed).
Sweat beading on my brow, I made the first incision, and cut away the stem at the base where it had toppled. The upper part of the stalk however, was still beautiful and pink and happy enough looking as plants go. The internet told me I could plant the stalk and create a new plant. Skeptical, I did as the internet instructed.
As the surgery continued, I found myself cutting more and more and more until the whole plant had been trimmed to the base. It wasn't a plant any more. It was just its rotted roots. What happened next would be all about vigilance, care and time.
Adrenaline still pumping through my veins and worry for the pink stripey guy plaguing my brain....the plot holes remained unaddressed.
If something so sudden and so disastrous could befall pink stripey guy like that, what else was I doing wrong that could jeopardize the others? So back down the internet plant-well I went, familiarizing myself with the names of each plant (I didn't know a single one), and their individual needs - direct or indirect sun? humidity levels? growing season?
The plot holes remained unaddressed.
The whole experience changed me. I emerged from surgery as something else. Something new. A gardener? No. That was too far a word for it. My outdoor plants would balk at the thought. No, it was something very clearly confined to the inner walls of my home. Something obsessed with nurturing and who even, god help me, speaks to the leafy friends sitting on shelves in every room.
I had become a plant mum.
With plot holes that still needed to be addressed. And this is the problem with a writer or an illustrator or an authorstrator getting a house plant. Its all too easy to obsess over leggy stalks and crispy leaves, crowded pots, and tell the work to wait. Because once you commit to the success of the house plants, everything else falls away… including the work.
It's been a couple months now and I am happy to say that I did eventually get around to unsnaring the plot with a scribbly outline that brings me relief. But it took three times longer than it should have. But the more I think about it, maybe it wasn’t the plant distraction that was slowing me down. What if the plants…helped get me unstuck? After all, what is a story but a sort of living thing that needs tending, care and attention? When you ignore it, you run the risk of killing it altogether.
So thank you house plants, for getting me back to tending to my WIP.
As for tradescantia nanouk....
R.I.P.
Doodle
What I’m Working On
I’ve been working really hard on my Wizard of Oz story but all of a sudden a lot of illustration work has come my way - specifically more work for my graphic novel project and a wedding commission thing. So, the Oz project is paused again, unless I can eek out some spare moments here and there. I foresee a lot of writing on my phone while I am out and about.
Yet another chapter of Lava Cat Cruise Ship, my b-movie style creature feature of a YA has dropped in the LCC section of Authorstrator! This little wee story is available exclusively to you as an Authorstrator subscriber, and posts new chapters on Fridays. I don’t send chapter emails just because I don’t want to overwhelm your inbox, but if you haven’t been following this story and are looking for a fun summer read, check it out!
Also, Paid Subscribers have access to the downloadable ebooks for Lava Cat Cruise Ship AND Zombie Shark Highway, as well as exclusive behind the scenes posts and digital downloads. Thank you so much for all your support!
What I’m Reading
I’ll be honest, much as I have a problem with AI training on stolen artwork, I’ve been very intimidated to use the programs that are supposed to help protect it. So I was very excited to come across this detailed post from
that breaks down Nightshade and Glaze, and how to use them.I found this article from The Guardian about authors paying for their own marketing interesting and a little frightening. I’ve never had a publisher tell me I needed to do the things they discuss in the article, they always handle the marketing and publicity for me. If someday I am expected to pay these kinds of prices on my own, I definitely couldn’t afford to and I suspect that’s the case for a lot of writers.
And that’s it from me! Til next time!
I have the same plant! He's also been through a lot (got deep fried when i brought him up to my dorm that didn't have ac. He has yet to recover...)
This is so funny and relatable. :) I love the images as well.